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Today’s Blog: Why don’t People and Doctors really understand that I am Ill?
Every wonder people with Fibromyalgia are so misunderstood? every wonder why some doctors will insist it doesn’t exist? Every get so frustrated because it seems impossible to explain what you, as a person with Fibromyalgia, is experiencing on a day to day basis. The following story is one of the reasons, read it and try to be non-judgmental as you go along.
A True Story
Have anyone of you eve been to New York City? I mean NYC in August on one of those hot and humid days, where you can smell the city, where it’s hard to breath, where the smoke seems to rise from the streets and where it is almost impossible to feel comfortable due to the perspiration dripping down from your face on to your clothes.. Well this is a true story that occurred on one of those days at about 4:00PM just as rush hour was starting to happen. The setting is the IRT (a subway line), with broken air conditioning and the first group of workers heading home after a sweltering day of work at their desks in the thousands of similar office buildings that make up downtown Manhattan.
As it was still the beginning of rush hour, there were a few seats left in the subway car. The train stopped at a station and a man entered with his 3 children, aged 5, 7 and 10 years old. Each of the children had a can of Coca Cola in one hand and an ice cream bar in the other hand.The father found a seat, the train began to move and this was the signal for the children to start acting like children. the children began to run up the aisle of the train, they grabbed the bars (people who stand hold on to) and swung themselves around and around while their soda went flying. each time the train would lurch, one or more of the children would lose their balance and fall on one of the other passengers laps, sticky fingers and all. All the while, the father, sitting his his seat, just looked down at his feet.
If you know anything about NY’ers, they were becoming very angry at the children and the father, the hot and humid weather was no help for their moods. They began grumbling under their breath about how the father was not watching the kids, how the kids could get hurt and more importantly how one of the children could hurt one of the passengers as they lost their balance. The father did not seem to notice anything amiss which just angered the passengers that much more.
Would you not agree with me that the father is being very irresponsible overall? Would you agree that all the passengers had every reason to be angry and that something sooner or later had to occur? I certainly would be furious with the situation, and I’m sure that you would be too!
This scenario continued as the train kept moving, yet there was an older woman who watched the situation closely and saw something different, something that no others on the train were able to see. Being an elderly woman, she carefully stood up, as the train moved, walked across the aisle to the man and asked: Sir, is everything alright, are you alright? The father of the children did not say a word, just continued to look down. The elderly woman than asked: Sir, is there anything I can do to help you?
The father of the children looked up into the elderly woman’s eyes and said: My children and I are headed home and returning from the hospital. My wife of 15 years has just died from Breast Cancer and I don’t know, for the life of me, how I’m going to tell my kids that their mother is never coming home again.
What you’ve just experienced is called a Paradigm shift! A dramatic change in your thinking that would have seemed impossible before. W can all experience a paradigm shift in the way we look at our health, our lives and other things. The point is that paradigm shifts are very difficult to change. It generally needs to be something emotionally dramatic, like the above true story.
Dr. Gene Martin
Fibromyalgia Relief Center of the Bay Area
520 South El Camino Real, Ste 520
San Mateo California, 94402